S married at 16 years old, his wife was 14. When they’re not being targeted or rejected by their families, many gay men are forced into marriage. According to Pakistani newspaper Dawn, the killer said he wanted to stop the spread of “this evil” in Pakistani society, though police say he had sex with his victims before killing them.
INDIAN GAY MEN TUBE SERIAL
A serial killer began targeting gay men through one of the gay social networking sites, killing three men between March and April 2014. In Lahore last year, gay men had someone to fear besides their own families. The father of one threatened to kill him with a knife, while the other’s father attempted to smother him with a pillow at night. S recalls two friends who tried to come out to their families. “He never took me anywhere,” says S (who also asked that only his initial be published). He lost some friends and it affected him socially, he says, “but that’s fine.”įor his friend S, the situation isn’t so drastic, though his father was ashamed of his effeminate ways growing up. His mother begged him not to tell others, but he did. Ali decided he had “to live with a little bit of dignity” and came out. Some gay men are able to come out to their families and friends. “The most a gay man has to fear are his parents and then his brothers,” Ali says. Rather, it is discrimination, police blackmail and brutality, and their own families that are the greatest threat to gay men. Pakistani law includes provisions against “obscenity” and having “carnal knowledge against the order of nature,” making homosexual acts illegal, although the provisions are rarely enforced as the charges are difficult to prove. It is perhaps surprising - from the West’s preconceptions about Pakistan - that it is quite easy for men to find each other to socialize, network, and have sex.ĭespite the ease with which many men hook up with each other for sex, most also describe a more threatening side to life in Pakistan, tempered with beatings, rejection and sometimes even death. The man wouldn’t have sex with gay men in Pakistan, Sinaan notes, because he found them too effeminate. In Pakistan it was extremely easy for the man to find macho, straight men to have sex with, Sinaan explains, but in Canada, this is not the case. Sinaan recounts the story of a man he knows, an Ahmadi Muslim, who moved to Canada to avoid religious persecution and now writes to him saying, “I’m in hell.” Some gay men describe Pakistan as a paradise, where sex is always available, especially with men who identify as heterosexual. It’s not a sexual threat, but an expression of domination, power and punishment, similar to an English expression like “I’m going to knock your teeth out.” “I’m going to sodomize you” is a common insult, Ali says, something that fathers would use for their sons, or brothers use for each other. Dominating a woman is easy, but you’re dominating a guy. “It makes you super-straight,” says Ali (who asked that only his first name be published). In macho Pakistani culture, having sex with a man - as long as you’re the one penetrating or “the top” - means you are the epitome of machismo.
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Male friends can often be seen in twos or threes, holding hands or with an arm affectionately around the other’s waist or neck. This is because Pakistan is a homosocial society, as Sinaan puts it, meaning that men can only go out in public or socialize with men, women with women. Ironically, it’s that culture that enables same-sex relationships to flourish, as long as the participants are discreet.
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Pakistan is an extremely patriarchal, macho culture, with a strict understanding of gender expression and behaviour. These two extremes are nowhere as evident as in the LGBT experience. Yet it’s also a land where secular, liberal, young adults socialize by drinking whisky and smoking weed, where you can find used lesbian erotica or buy a dildo on the black market. Pakistan is a world of contrasts: a land of fundamentalist Islam, Osama bin Laden’s hideout, and terrorist attacks, where children are gunned down going to school or accused of blasphemy and sentenced to death. “But homosexuality is mostly done by straight guys.” “Homosexuality is very common in Pakistan,” Sinaan tells me as the Muslim call to prayer rings out along the streets of Islamabad.